Bonding What Once Was Broken
by su-angelvicioso
Summary: This is an AU in which Jasper goes through with his idea of calling María for help in Eclipse. Takes place after battle. Written for dear friend. :)


Bonding What Once Was Broken

*General Pov*

He was wandering outside when he found her. He'd been searching for her for what seemed like forever, when he caught her scent in the wind and followed it, coming to a stop when he laid eyes on her idle form. He thought she'd have left by now. Thinking she had better things to do than stick around after doing all that he'd asked of her and more, something he was truly grateful for. He was glad he found her, because now he had a chance to properly thank her.

He'd been so caught up in a rut with planning for the battle with Victoria's army, but he wasn't confident in his strategy, he felt that the consequences would be too great if he made any mistake. Knowing deep down that he needed help from someone just like him, someone who could catch anything he missed. After all, two heads are better than one. So he swallowed his pride and reached out to her, not knowing how she'd respond, or if she would even respond to begin with; but she did and she agreed to assist him. What shocked him was when she agreed to stay and fight after having already done what he'd wanted, which was create a foolproof plan. He didn't expect it, but he didn't decline. However, that still did not take away from the initial surprise he felt when she said she would be sticking around. _"I can see how much this means to you Jasper, and since I came up with part of this plan, i'd like to stay and see it in action." _She told him, which not only made him laugh out loud but also gave him a sense of relief to have someone understand why this was so important to him in the way that it was. An extra set of hands never hurt either especially considering the fact that María was an extremely formidable opponent. She trained Jasper even, making her the best fighter out of all of them, having her around would really give them a boost from a tactical standpoint. He smiled at the thought, even after all this time María was still so ready to fight. Some things really never change.

When everything was over, and he couldn't find her, he assumed she'd just left quietly without a word. Although disappointed he could not give a decent goodbye, he wasn't upset. He thought something had come up or that she was simply too busy to stick around any longer, but there she was, standing by a tree. She seemed distracted with something. Her back was turned to him and she looked as if she was holding something in her hands. He wondered if he should approach or leave her to herself. He didn't have too much time to decide on what to do because she turned around catching him in the process. She stopped right in her tracks when she saw him. Both staring at each other in complete silence. His eyes traveled down to her hands, looking to see what she'd been fiddling with just a minute before, except he didn't see anything, which confused him. Before he could think about it any further his attention was brought back to her as she walked toward him.

"You've taken to stalkin' me now vaquero?" She asked, crossing her arms as she drew near. He snickered and took the last few steps, closing the distance between them.

"I just thought you'd have left by now, what with the threat gone and all." He noted clasping his hands behind his back. She gasped, feigning offense as she placed her hand over her chest.

"And leave without at least saying goodbye? Just how rude do you think I am?" She asked dramatically. Jasper rolled his eyes, snorting at her theatrics. María's head tilted on one side, a smirk growing on her lips.

"Why if I'd known any better, I'd think you wanted me gone." She declared, her eyes squinting in an accusatory stare. Jasper knew that while she was mostly playing with him, there was a small part of her inside that was serious, the part of her that was the part of her that was self conscious.. a side he knew she hated showing, and rarely ever did. He grinned, showing a bit of his teeth.

"Quite the opposite actually" he asserted. "I was hoping you hadn't left yet and I'm glad I was able to catch you." His statement surprised her. Her eyes widened. "Oh? and why's that?" She questioned standing straighter. He stepped closer.

"So I could thank you. You didn't have to help, you didn't have to do anything really, but you did anyways and you were a great asset. You helped me in a time of need and I will always appreciate that. Gracias mi querido amigo." He acknowledged, expressing his gratitude. She stared at him, fighting the smile that threatened to play across her face. She always loved it when he addressed her in Spanish, it seemed to roll off his tongue so easily. She shrugged.

"It's no big deal really. I just thought it'd be a nice fight." She refused to make eye contact now. Jasper could feel how awkward she felt about his extension of appreciation toward her. He could see her shoulders tense. Her fingers playing at the fabric of her shirt.

"It was a big deal to me." He professed. "and aside from everything, it was nice to see you again." He added truthfully. She became even more timid. She never really knew what to say or do in moments such as these, they always served to break her calm, cool nature, making her visibly more nervous. She stayed silent, her mind at a loss for words. He could see, and feel, how weird she felt. He could see her wracking her mind for something to say, she seemed really stumped and although it amused him, he decided to help her out by changing the subject. He stood there looking over her until something shiny caught his eye.

"You still have that?" He asked, catching her attention. A bright smile taking over him as he noticed the necklace hanging from her neck. It struck him that this was probably the object she had been messing around with when he first happened upon her. She looked at him confused for a moment before her face took on a look of complete horror and then embarrassment. She quickly straightened up before speaking.

"It's... a decent accessory to some outfits. That's all." She said sternly, her eyes averting away from his gaze. Her body language screamed the word "abashed". Jasper pursed his lips, tapping his index finger against his chin.

"Hmm so you don't get any questions from anyone? Especially from those who know that your name doesn't start with a J?" He asked with a smirk.

"Shut it." She said quickly, her look of embarrassment becoming even more pronounced. Jasper could only laugh at her. He could tell she was ashamed at the fact that she'd been caught wearing the necklace he'd given her so long ago. A necklace with his initial on it. It was something he'd given her as gift for he had been so infatuated with her, he thought it was the perfect thing to give to symbolize his love and memory so that she'd never forget him if something were to ever happen to him. He thought she would have gotten rid of it by now, but seeing that she had not and still wore it, tells him that maybe she did hold his gift to some importance. The thought made him feel a certain warmth inside. That warmth began to show on his face and project from his emotions. María watched this and became even more uncomfortable. She shifted her weight between her feet.

"It's not like I actually care about it or anything, I told you it just pairs well with some of my clothes. Besides I don't really have people around to ask me about my necklace, and even if they did I'd shut them down, they have no business asking such questions.." Her voice got lower and lower as she finished talking, her eyes were trained away from him. She couldn't bare to look him in the eyes now, as it would give all her lies away. She can't deal with him thinking she may have treasured his gift, she was never very good at talking about sentimental things. Hating to seem too soft and vulnerable, but he already knew the truth. He knew her well enough to tell when she was hiding behind a false sense of stoicism. His grin softened.

"You don't have to tell me false things to hide your embarrassment. You don't even have to be embarrassed, it's okay to be soft María." He comforted.

"That's not how I was raised." She replied. He scowled, dissatisfied with her response.

"Well who cares about how you were raised? Why not be the person you want to be instead of being the person everyone else wants and thinks you to be? Why not be who you truly were inside before everything happened?!" He ranted, clenching his jaw. He took a deep breath to regain his composure. His sudden outburst caused her eyes to snap toward him.

"I am the person I want to be. This is who I am now! I have to accept that even if it makes me undesirable to you or anyone else!" She raised her voice, growing more frustrated the more she continued. Jasper's scowl dropped completely, shocked at her words. He stood there for a moment contemplating on what to say next. When his thoughts settled, he took a step towards her.

"Why would you think that you are undesirable to anyone María?... to me?" He asked, curious and a little concerned at her word choice. He felt her instant regret after his question. He pondered why she would be feeling that way. Was it because she regretted having to now explain what she'd just said, or did she foster these feelings of regret from something else going on in her mind? He waited patiently for her response. She slowly looked up at him.

"Because of what happened, because everyone I've ever loved has either died or left... because I've lost everyone.. because I lost you." She answered. He stared at her, her admittance shocked him. He never would have thought that she'd have been affected this way, and it tore at something inside him to see how miserable she looked. He could feel her dejection and feelings of worthlessness running off her in waves. She'd never been this.. open before. In that moment she looked so vulnerable. It pained him to see her like this. He sighed deeply.

"María you were never the problem. It was the environment that surrounded us that was." María started to interject but Jasper held up a hand silencing her. "and before you say that you brought me into it, yes, although that may be true, you still suffered under it as well, and you've been suffering for way longer than I have..."

She stared at him. "But that doesn't mean that I-" Before she could finish he cut her off again, already replying to what he knew she was going to say.

"I won't lie and pretend I didn't know anything at all. I knew what was up. I'm not a child and I wasn't blind María. Any second thought could have easily saw through that fallacy. I was amazing. I thrived, at first... but after some time it wore me... broke me... I can only imagine what it's done to you..." He ended his point with a soft, understanding smile. He grabbed her hands, his fingers massaging over her knuckles. Although he felt her relax to his touch, he could still feel extreme regret and depressing emotions coming from her. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

"I changed you, lied to you, convincing you to fight in a war you didn't belong in.. I changed your whole life. how can you be so.. calm about that?" She asked incredulously. It didn't take long for Jasper to think of his answer.

"Because after spending so much time in it, in the life you grew up in. I understand it María. I'm not saying that excuses everything, but that doesn't make you an evil person, we all do bad things we aren't proud of to survive. It's not like you belonged in war either. It's just something that happened to both of us and we were lucky enough to make it out. Even if we went through trials and tribulations along the way. You changed my life, but it wasn't bad entirely." He noticed that her emotions did not falter. She did not seem swayed by his reassuring words.

"I'm sorr-"

"you've already apologized. Stop that." He interrupted yet again, he didn't want her to keep admitting her guilt, what's done is done and nothing can change that. He wants her to understand that it's okay. She looked down, her eyes staring at their feet. "I never deserved you.." she whispered softly.

"you deserved me just enough. I'm not some pure innocent baby María. I was a major in the confederate army when you found me, I was exactly what you needed. I was not 'Mr. perfect' by any means, I was one of the lowest of the low.. but you helped me with that." He told her, referring to the fact that, with her help, he'd unlearned a lot of his prejudiced thinking. She looked up at him, squinting. "I also hurt you." She added.

He nodded. "Yes, you did; but that's what happens when you're with someone for nearly 100 years. When you love someone, you are bound to get hurt sometimes. Don't forget all of the times I hurt you as well." He reminded.

She shook her head. "Those don't count" she stated matter-of-factly. His eyebrows raised. "Oh? and why not?" He inquired, copying her tone and words from earlier. He leaned closer to show his interesting. She thought hard for a moment, there was complete silence before she opened her mouth.

"Because it doesn't balance out, maybe you can excuse the lie for its weakness and having easily figured the truth and maybe you can see why I needed you in the war, but nothing will ever top me taking your life and turning you into a bloodsucking monster that has to take the lives of the living, be it human or animal, to live.." she stated, her face taking on a grim expression. "Even if you weren't the best person at the time.." she tacked on sighing before she continued "So why would you even want to see me? Why are you still so nice to me? Why did you protect me in battle?! Even after all this time... I just don't get it."

Jasper could only look at her, his face becoming even more somber. His hands lightly squeezed hers. "There is no competition in getting hurt María. Pain is pain. If you hadn't have changed me, I wouldn't be the man I am today, I wouldn't have learned. I most likely would have died fighting in a war based in the upholding of bigotry and hate. Would I rather have died fighting a war for a woman I loved who just wanted revenge for her fallen family and liberation from a bunch of groups that practically ruined her life? Yes, yes I would." A light, warm smile crept onto his face as he tugged at her hands pulling her closer. His muscular arm wrapping around her tiny waist. "and if you are ever in my presence, you will always be protected María, never forget that. I made you that promise decades ago and I'm a man of my word."

His hands streaked through her hair. "Now please stop beating yourself up over things of the past that we cannot change. I want to move on and I want you to move on too."

María sighed, looking even more doleful than before. "It's hard for me to move on from things Jasper.. I don't know how to let everything that's happened between us go.. especially the bad things." She muttered.

"I know nena, but we've grown from that. I still manage to keep in some form contact with you, and you don't reject it so that obviously means something. If moving on is a bit harder for you, I am willing to help you, because there is no use in looking back on things we cannot change. Just because things weren't the best before, doesn't mean they can't become better, it doesn't mean we have to block out and hate each other forever. We're both adults, we can do what we want. I choose to keep you, in one way or another." His fingers cupped her chin, lifting her face so he could look her in the eyes. "and you being here tells me that you chose to keep me too." His smile grew as he watched her become just as sheepish as she had earlier. She shrugged.

"Well... we've known each for what feels like forever I guess it's just kinda hard to let that go.. let's not make it into a big sentimental thing." She insisted, scratching her head and looking away. He laughed in return.

"You're still such a hard ass I see." He chided, causing her to lightly slap his arm.

"Well look who's the pot calling the kettle a hard ass." She shot back with a slight giggle.

An atmosphere of light happiness and humor settled between them. She hadn't had a moment like this with him in a while, she couldn't admit it aloud but deep down she knew that this was something she truly missed and she was happy to be in that place again. To laugh with him in the way they used to at times. It felt as if they were slowly mending a bond that was once broken. In that moment she realized that maybe she could let go of the past. Perhaps she didn't have to hold herself back because of things of the past that she could not change. For the first time, in a very long time, she had a feeling that things were going to be alright.


End file.
